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The Misadventures of Quinxy von Besiex truths, lies, and everything in between

16Jul/100

Things I Hate & Love About Women: Volume XXIV

I started to write a very short list of two or three semi-humorous, semi-curious things I look to avoid in women and it somehow morphed into a longer, stranger list which would surely suggest many a neurosis to a trained psychoanalyst.  Ah well...  If one such therapist is reading, enjoy, and tell me what I've got and what pill will cure me. :)  Obviously there are no hard and fast rules in love, I'm sure I'd forgive a girl nearly every item on this list if I loved her so and so.

I dislike:

  • Pointy "witch" shoes.  The ones that were popular a few years ago.  Freaks me out.  I do not want to date a witch!!!  I don't not want to date a woman with voluntarily deformed feet.  I don't like sharp angles.  I mean, if you are an ice climber and these are for ice climbing, awesome, otherwise, NOOOO!
  • Makeup.  I never like it, but if you insist on wearing it, please don't use it to look unnatural.
  • Red nail polish.  I'm not really a fan of nail polish in general, but if you're going to do it, have fun, pick unconventional colors.  The classic red is so done...  Glow in the dark nail polish is a winner, black is a bit goth but I won't mind, grey might be cool, even orange or blue.  No nail art, though!
  • No long nails!!!  I don't mind if a girl's nails are an 1/4" of an inch or something, the better she can play guitar with, but if your nails are long enough that you can't do some things, or they break, then ick!  I have no idea why long nails would be fun or sexy for anyone.  It's a whole lot of scratchy, scratchy, pokey, pokey, uselessness.
  • High heeled shoes.  Not a fan.  I like tall women, sure, but I'd rather you just be your real height.  We can pause sometimes on stairs and pretend if you want to imagine you are taller.  I like Chuck Taylor Converse shoes on my women.  Or other funky, fun shoes.  I never want to hear a girl say to me, "Oh, I can't walk that far, because my shoes..."  We are ambulatory people!  Wear shoes you can walk, run, dance, play in!  I don't like those odoriferous Petri dishes they call Uggz.
  • Beer taste on the lips/breath.  Ugh.  Wine taste is slightly preferable, but still not my favorite.  My favorite?  Jolly Ranchers.  I wish all women were always sucking on Jolly Ranchers, but from a variety pack, ideally reflecting their mood towards me.  When they smelled of watermelon I'd know it was on...
  • Lacy underwear or underwear with flowers.  What makes that stuff sexy?  I have no idea, they turn me off.  Grandmothers wear that sort of stuff.  Oddly, though, I find fishnet stockings sexy (though I've never encountered any in real life).  I hope I'll be surprised with fishnets some day.
  • Dainty watches.  I hate that women are encouraged to wear tiny, dainty, functionless watches.  Poor dears, they deserve the same rights to wear watches with tons of features like the men's.  I once had a crush on a girl in a college physics class because she had a watch with a chronograph!  A year later I was in a math class with her and I discovered that my crush was all built on a lie!  The chronograph dials on the watch were just printed on the watch dial.  The story of my life.
  • Women who live within the limits of an inherited, "Women should do...".  Some people just seem to think the world should be a certain way, and I'm no fan of that.  I think the world should be the way you want it, screw society and its expectations; hard to do, but fight the good fight...
  • Women who "know" they are very attractive.  Nothing is uglier than arrogance.  Confidence, being comfortable with yourself,  feeling secure, those are grand things.  Arrogance is quite another.  Too many people on both side of the gender fence get their ego a bit stroked as a youth and spend the rest of their lives making people around them miserable.
  • Women who use their feminine wiles to get men to do things for them (pay bills, buy dinners, move furniture, etc.).  Using people sucks.  You're one step up below an escort, at least escorts can be respected for their relative honesty and straightforwardness in their social exchanges.  I haven't run into many of this sort, though.  I did make a friend who soon after  revealed to me she was sleeping with a guy because he would fill up her gas tank, and she was sleeping with another guy (at the same time) because he would take her grocery shopping, and another who...  Oh dear, she was physically a beautiful girl, but not so much inside. Our friendship was short lived.
  • Cowboy boots.  I'm sure cowboy boots are probably perfectly suited for cowboys.  But there is no excuse for any non-cowboys to be wearing them.  A woman or man in cowboy boots in a city makes as little sense as them wearing ski boots.
  • Smoking.  Ugh.  You have taken from me every ounce of interest I might have had in you and crushed it like you do your cigarette butts.  You smell like an ashtray, you taste like an ashtray, and you reek of addictive behavior.   Not for me.
  • "Nude" Pantyhose.  Ugh.  I used to think I hated pantyhose generally, but now I realize it's just the "nude" or sheer kind I dislike, mostly because I don't like something pretending to be skin color, that's just creepy like a snake shedding its skin.  And then at the crotch area the stitching on sheer pantyhose is right there, with flaps, and extra material, and I don't know...  it's just weirdly complicated and unattractive.

Things I love with women:

  • Winter wear!  Hats, coats, sweaters, mittens/gloves!  How I love layers!  Women look pretty in them, and when the time comes for their removal it just makes things so much more fun!  And put a woman in the snow, and wow!  I like it when pretty white flakes of snow land on their noses.  I would have been a very randy Eskimo.
  • Women who like driving.  There's something sexy about a woman who takes pride in her driving.
  • Sweetness, tenderness, vulnerability.  'nough said.
  • Multicolored socks/stockings.  Japanese girls sometimes rock this look.  But I don't know any.  And I am a little afraid of the Japanese when it comes to the bedroom and their tentacle porn.  :(
  • Dancing.  I'm a bit too self conscious to really enjoy dancing myself, but I like women who don't have that shyness and might move me past mine.  I was once in a a gas station, in line, waiting to pay with my girlfriend of that time, and she started to dance subtly to whatever was on the radio they were playing.  It was a truly beautiful moment; I loved her so very greatly in that instant.
  • A yielding sexual aggressiveness.  I don't want a woman to be all corpse-y, that's no good.  But, neither do I want to be their bitch (nor they mine).  I advocate for a position of relative, exchangeable equality, with each person taking that controlling interest at different times, a communism of sex.  To each according to their sexual needs of the moment, from each according to their sexual ability of the moment, etc.
  • Creativity.  One of the most attractive things for me is creativity (however it is expressed, in their art, writing, or just the play of brilliant banter).
  • Freethinkingnes-ish.  In theory I like women who are freethinkers, but freethinking can also lead to freeacting which might include daily orgies and drug induced stupors and I'm not so keen on those.  I'm looking for someone who's probably a bit like me, freethinking in mind, but more conservative (cowardly?) in action.
  • Smilers.  I love women whose smiles elevate me, and everyone else.

^Quinxy

16Jun/100

The Little Lie, I Am

I lied to you, once upon a time. I wanted you to see the me I aspired to be, rather than the me I was.

{{I'm watching a couple down the street. Perhaps it's a first date. She is achingly cute, he a bit of a brute; though he has an incongruously clever folding bicycle. They walked from their pleasant enough conversation a few feet away from me down to her car, where they pause in awkward end-of-date blather. She is trying to kindly tell him with her silent geography and closing pose that she has not made up her mind about him, and that he would be a fool to attempt a kiss. After some minutes they hug, her chin pins her left shoulder, ensuring there will be no misunderstanding lips; I pity them both this moment. I pity us all our inability to speak or hear honest things. She drives off; I doubt there will be a second date.}}

I once thought you and I might be compatibly flawed, fodder for a bff or a bf. Not sure why. Something you said or didn't say, something you were or weren't. Who knows.

My name was Quinxy. I was and will likely forever be a bit of a lost soul. I will likely always be struggling to understand this foreign and unfamiliar world, will likely always be struggling to express my thoughts about it, and will likely always suffer for the prettier world I can imagine yet not create.  But I am happy, of a sort, and find peace(s).

^Quinxy

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14Jun/090

My Zen Koan about a Girl

A fragment from an unsent email to a girl I met at a wedding in London who I pointlessly fancied, and who occasionally contacted me only to then become as silent as the grave if I actually respond...

I feel like you are a koan my Zen master keeps presenting to me every six months to chart my spiritual growth... “Quinxy-san. Master Kenze arrives at the zen-do with a letter for you from a friend. If you reply to this person, you will hear no more from them. If you don't reply, you will hear no more from them. Master Kenze gives you a quilled fountain pen, a well of black ink, and one piece of bamboo parchment. What do you do?”

And I know the answer, I've been presented with this particular koan several times before, and each time I get it wrong I am told the answer: “You pick up the quilled fountain pen, drive it through the center of the paper lying pinning it to the desk, leave the pen standing nib stuck in the soft wood. You dip your pinky in the ink and draw two concentric circles around the pen, the first on the paper, the second on the wood of the desk. And from your diaphragm, growl, 'Yasuke!'.”

As with all koans, the answer is gibberish to the unenlightened, and no fakesies. The master will know if the answer I give is rote or real, though the words are the same.

So, on this day, I readily admit to the master that once again, I do not know the answer. But I do tell him this much... “I know now that the day ends with no words written on the paper.” And he gives me a rare and precious smile, so in sympathy and joy I smile, too. With love he cracks me on the back with his stick. I have made progress.

I don't speak all dialects of human very well, and yours is apparently one of those.