Often when I try to translate Taras Zaitsev's work I am only able to beautifully translate a few lines of a given poem or work. See more here.
lost in time
how could the everything i know by feel have been wrong?
perhaps it wasn't, only momentarily.
she who was my little everything
and now brings curious remembrance,
it felt like a nearby yesterday
that i loved her.
one of the only things i knew
without the normal doubts
that come to all things.
i wish it would come again.
i remember you,
you were near to me, dear to me.
your thoughts were close enough to my own to make my brain sing.
you were so sweetly naive, you made me want to give you everything i had.
your choice seems curious.
how very much i thought of you.
i do not understand.
but, perhaps therein lies the answer.
you wanted who and what i wasn't.
still, a pity.
i remember the way you looked, and spoke,
and now you are here, again.
oh sweet beguiling memory of youth,
why tease me with a familiarity i will not know again.
my love for you remains, unqualified.
how can everything
i know by feel
it may not be.
if she felt (what i feel)
there would be a dozen
things she'd do
which she hasn't done.
why do i always want
what will not be.
perhaps because i do not really want
them at all.
so many days have passed
and yet i find myself
back with familiar thoughts, and hopes.
all for nothing.
i wonder why i like you.
it defies reason.
it is a response.
i like the way you look, the kindness in your face, the sweetness,
i like your noble and lost soul.
i like your voice.
you remind me of the unsatisfaction i once felt
that you were never entirely there.
you were always slightly elsewhere.
what a pity, your presence would be nice.
i have built you up.
and you are not quite what i thought.
and that makes me a little sad.
i wonder why i loved you,
for in truth you were nothing so spectacular.
but there was a delicate something
in which i found attraction.
which won't pass easily.
i remember, when we were young,
the love i felt
which was unlimited.
Poet Taras Zaitsev, 1975
Translation by Quinxy von Besiex, 2008